When You Walk Through The Fire

 

     My husband and I have shed tears, become overwhelmed with worry and suffered through sleepless nights over witnessing our grandchild’s seizures. My prayer has been to remain strong for our daughter and her wonderful family. It hasn’t necessarily worked out that way. I have, reluctantly, come to the conclusion that strength can often be found in being able to cry together, to talk through our fears, along with theirs. We are in this together and sometimes we just need to fall apart.

     Walking with others through crisis was my ministry for over twenty-five years. The training and the experience abandoned me completely as we all struggled. Luckily for all of us, we have a great team of prayer warriors and friends who lifted us up. We could feel it, all of us. And we are grateful.

     Why is it so hard to ask for support? We want to remain strong and give our complete trust to God, to say we are ok when, in reality, we are not. When crisis strikes, we can’t see our way around it. It is life and we are human and God understands. After all, He was one of us. My daughter and I had some amazing conversations through all of this. Her faith has been her strength since she was four years old and for the first time, she was struggling, too. 

     Losing weight, combined with sleeplessness and worry, trying to teach her young special needs students, all took their toll. And, finally, after several seizures, after all of the tests, after the dose increases, those meds have taken hold, and he has been seizure-free for 6 weeks. Hallelujah!!!  We pray after a couple of years on meds, he will outgrow them, as most young children do.

     Be gentle with yourself. It’s ok to fall apart. Allow the tears to flow. Ask someone for a shoulder to lean on. Ask to talk it through. Cry out to God in your confusion. Life is about support and love. And Jesus is always there, even when we don’t see or feel His presence.

He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. He set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. Psalm 40:2

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you. And when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned, the flames will not set you ablaze. Isaiah 43:2

Lord,

When the foundation crumbles, when we are swept away in the flood, when we can’t see Your face, find hope for us. Give us love. Bring us back to trust and hope. Give us the strong rock to stand on as you lift us back up.

In Jesus name,

Amen