A Word for the Weekend

I found this story I wrote several years ago. My mother-in-law and my brother were living in nursing homes, each dealing with a different type of crisis. This week I thought it would be appropriate to let you in to see how God opened my spiritual eyes to help us deal with this very difficult time. He will help us cope as our spirits connect. Enjoy this almost-fall weekend.

Rambling Mind, Restless Body, Resurrected Heart

 My life as a writer is viewed as curious by many. Lost in fictional characters, deep thinking and quiet days makes me, to the casual observer, melancholy and isolated.  Most of my family and friends are out there in the real world, on the outside; lives filled with details and noise.

My husband says, “You think too much.”

It’s true. My eccentric ways can be annoying.  In the middle of a conversation a stray thought takes flight, traveling an unexplored path to a destination unknown. I blurt out a nonsensical remark.

“Where are you? Weren’t we just talking about dad’s birthday party?”

 my husband asks.

How do I explain? This chaotic mind is derailed at the slightest nudge. Forgotten missions left behind include open cupboard doors, light switches left in the “on” position, delayed meals, and on and on. It is certainly a challenge for my logical/ left-brained husband, not to mention my two daughters.

“Mom! I explained all of this yesterday! Why don’t you ever hear what I am saying? Ugh!” 

Today, this rambling mind is going out.  My mother-in-law is in last stages of real Alzheimers, not the type my family accuses me of having. 

My brother, twenty-two years my senior, is in the last stages of a neurological disease that began in his toes. It has continued in upward motion until it now affects his speaking and swallowing.

I imagine the two of them joined, mind and body, to make one whole human being.

So today is a day for the real world. Today is a day for visiting the nursing homes.

My body is restless, another consequence of the writer’s life. I go for a long walk and think about the day. As I return home, I drop to my knees in helplessness and hopelessness, wondering what to say to them. How can I help? How can we cope?

There are no answers and so I leave the questions with the One of my heart, Jesus. As I repeat His name over and over in praise, He answers my hopelessness with a resurrected heart. Body, mind and spirit are rejuvenated. I move out into the world with renewed energy and an eternal perspective. That perspective can change every worry, every hopeless situation, every fearful thought into a future of hope.

I read comforting Scripture from the book of Psalms to my mother-in-law. It calms both of us.  Suddenly she says, “You are so beautiful.” It brings tears to my eyes. Other days, most days, she is filled with unrest and anxiety.  I don’t believe she knows who I am but I believe the Holy Spirit within both of us connects.  It is a moment to treasure from one rambling mind to another.

As I leave her side I feel blessed. God can transform a situation in miraculous and unexpected ways. And I move on to my next stop.

As I rub the good hand of my brother on his frozen and rigid body, I remember his born again moment several years ago. My brother, Jim, had lived with depression for much of his life. He could not imagine a loving God in that dark world of his. But, as God often does, He brought a glimmer of light into the darkest of places at just the right time.

As Jim’s body began to wear out, the right people appeared. There was the motorcycle-riding chaplain visiting the nursing home. He and Jim clicked.  An old friend, motoring down the avenue in her wheelchair came to see him with a Bible in her hand. There were the hymns sung on Sunday mornings. The hymns of old made him cry; the tears that had never been shed.

And, on a beautiful fall day about two years ago, on his wife’s birthday, he met us with the incredible words, “ I have met Jesus. I am born again.”

For these last two years he has a peace and calm and humor about him not found in most of us. He is content and I marvel at the wonder and awe of this God of ours. And these restless bodies connect. I am grateful.

And through His Spirit I am redeemed and resurrected. And so are they. So are they.

Jesus knows the way through all of the suffering in this short life.  Rambling minds, both real and imagined, restless bodies aching for relief become His as we are resurrected with Him now and eternally.  One day with open minds and healed bodies we will see clearly, as His resurrection becomes ours forever.

However, as it is written, “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.”

1 Corinthians 2:9