Legacies of Life

I wrote this from the vantage point of my father-in-law almost ten years ago, when he was dealing with the difficulty of seeing his wife in a nursing home. Maybe some of you understand the suffering involved in dealing with dementia or Alzheimer’s disease.

My Wife of 50 Years

I can’t find her in the place where she lives, my wife of 50 years, even though I try. I bring her clothes, make sure she’s clean and listen to the words I no longer understand. I can’t stay away and I can’t stay long.

I return to the home we shared, she and I, and there I find her, my wife of fifty years. I find her in the scent of the vanilla perfume sitting on the mirrored tray. I find her under the quilt she made, and I find her in the brush that I use on my fine white hair; the brush she used each day trying to manage the hair that never stayed just right.

Her hair is the one thing that brings a rare smile as I say, “Honey, your hair looks pretty today.”

I guess when you worry and fuss about something your entire life you never forget, even in a mind almost gone. And so I chuckle a little and I sniff, and I snuggle and I brush trying to find her, my wife of 50 years.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

Dear Father in Heaven,

Comfort those suffering today in their own bodies and minds or in dealing with the suffering of our loved ones. You understand us even when we don’t. You know our hearts and we trust You with it all, until, one day, there will be no more suffering or tears or pain.

Amen